guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
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