so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
