just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
