S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
