smell my finger.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
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