My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
