Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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