Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
