Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
