What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
