Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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