i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
