Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
