you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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