Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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