I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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