Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
