$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
