And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
