I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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