Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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