if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
