there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
