just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
