Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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