Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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