why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You need a sexual gate keeper
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
