is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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