Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
