As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I enjoy the company of your penis
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
