"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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