I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
