So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
