Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
