idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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