never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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