I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm really busy with my period
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