This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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