Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
