hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
