no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
There are leaves in my underwear?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
