It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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