Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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