id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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