**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
