she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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