So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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