I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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