If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
dude. I can hear the air.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
