Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
