So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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