will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So much rum. So many feels.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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