Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
