Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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